SmallGovTimes.com

By: Alan Burkhart | Published on 01/21/06    

As I sat in front of the television last week watching the NFL Divisional Playoffs, I was struck with the notion that the Republican Party and the Pittsburgh Steelers might be using the same playbook. Never mind that former Steeler Lynn Swann has aspirations of being the GOP governor of Pennsylvania.

The underdog Steelers dominated the favored Indianapolis Colts for about fifty minutes of the game. But in the final minutes the Steelers evidently decided they'd rather watch the next playoff game from home. I've never seen a team so determined to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Even so, the Colts seemed less interested in the game's outcome than the Steelers. In the end, Pittsburgh couldn't give the game to Indianapolis no matter how hard they tried.

Similarly, the Republicans appear determined to put the Democrats back in power. They've tried everything from verbal gaffes to outright scandal, but it would appear that the Democrats are equally determined to self-sabotage. The GOP has provided ample ammunition for its own demise, mainly through the bad judgment of a handful of high profile members of Congress. And yet every time the Democrats come after them we quickly discover that they're just as deeply engaged in the same bad behavior (whatever it may be) as the GOP. The end result is generally one or two people from each side copping a plea bargain, and we return to Politics As Usual.

Offsetting penalties. Replay the down.

Republicans have for several years done a miserable job in terms of "getting their message out" to the citizenry. Diverse thinkers ranging from Rush Limbaugh to James Carville have wondered why the Democrats haven't capitalized on this by stating their own case instead of mindlessly bashing the GOP. And then along comes New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin with his surely-to-be-famous "Chocolate City" speech, while Hillary rants about Republican plantations in the House of Representatives.

Be careful what you ask for, Mister Carville.

Speaking of getting out the message... George W. Bush continues to mangle the English Language almost every time he takes the podium while left-wing pundits take pleasure in pointing out each and every malapropism. But then the smarter-than-thou Left can do no better than to trot out a laundry list of loonies like Michael Moore, Cindy Sheehan and Screaming Howard Dean to counter Bush's endearingly sincere linguistic butchery. Do the Democrats really believe that sending Sheehan to Crawford, TX to become the McLennan County Ditch Witch is a viable answer to Bush's issue-related and thoughtful speeches, however mangled they may be? And let's face it: Bush isn't the first American president to botch up the language. Abe Lincoln, Andrew Jackson, Ulysses S. Grant and Theodore Roosevelt also come to mind.

Never "misunderestimate" your opponent.

Even Al Gore, who in spite of being a political basket case is well-educated and usually articulate, has lately left many of us wondering just what has happened to the once-formidable hive mind of the Democrat Party. His nonsensical ranting, complete with flying spittle and baseless accusations regarding the current NSA flap is especially hard to take seriously. This after all, is the guy who did the legwork for Bill Clinton's failed attempt to tap all American phone calls, not just the ones with suspected terrorist connections.

Most recently, the Dems were circling like sharks when the Abramoff scandal appeared to be yet another possible vehicle to derail the Republicans. Until, that is, it became evident that as many Democrats as Republicans may have received tainted money via the now-disgraced lobbyist. Once again the Democrats find themselves accusing the Republicans of corruption when they themselves are no better, and possibly worse.

With the exception of Super Bowl V, the Donkeys vs. Elephants debacle presently playing in Washington may well be the ugliest game ever. If ESPN kept statistics on politics, we'd see new records for both fumbles and personal fouls.

I suspect the sheer repulsiveness of present-day political gamesmanship to be at the root of the disturbingly low voter turnout in recent years. Compare it to those of us who stopped watching "pro" wrestling at age 12. Aside from figuring out that it was all fake, it had become just too silly to be of interest.

Then again, I might actually watch C-SPAN if I could see Ted Kennedy in a pair of Spandex wrestling tights. Now there's a funny mental image.

Original URL:
http://www.smallgovtimes.com/story/06jan21.political.football/index.html